Thanksgiving is over. The one time of year where we, as a nation, get disciplined about our intentional gratitude for one day. Well, not quite one FULL day. We quickly moved from Thanksgiving Dinner to Black Friday. But now it’s Saturday and with it comes two full-days before Cyber-Monday. Let’s take some time today and tomorrow to reflect on how we, as leaders, can build a practice of intentional thankfulness.
Leading is a privilege, not a right. I think we can, most days, all agree with this sentiment. You are, after all, reading and engaging with platforms like The Company Leader. General George Patton remarked, “The Soldier is the Army. No army is better than its Soldiers. The Soldier is also a citizen. In fact, the highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms for one’s country.”
I don’t know if that is true, nor am I here to claim it so. But, I do believe there is no greater privilege and no higher responsibility than leading our brothers and sisters in arms. Like any privilege, it is an opportunity – and one for which we should be thankful. I am not talking about once a year thankfulness or hollow and pretentious gratitude. Building a practice of sincere gratitude starts with authenticity and sincerity.
Love It
It has to start with you and it has to be real. If you don’t truly love what you are doing then any attempts you make at gratitude will be fey and fall short. There are bound to be bad days, and even bad weeks. But when the bad weeks start to be bad months and then bad years – you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. Even for those who know they truly love what they do, in this case leading Soldiers, remembering it and being intentional about it can be tough. Admittedly, it is for me. Here are some steps for remembering that you love it and why you love it.
- Reflect/Pray: I try to start and end every day with scheduled prayer and reflection. This is nothing crazy – 10 to 15 minutes of scripted prayer, scriptural reading, and conversational prayer. If you aren’t the “praying kind,” use the time for the same purposes: reflection, meditation, and centering yourself.
- Pause: There are going to be plenty of times during your day that stress and strain. Too often we wallow in those moments or complain about them with our peers longer than we should. I am not going to ask that you refrain from collective complaining despite the science against it. It can also be cathartic. What I do try to do is spend at least equal, if not greater, time to pause after the good moments. Whether it is after a Soldier takes initiative to get after a problem you didn’t even know existed or one of your junior leaders shows that they are “getting it” – take a minute to pause in the moment and remember why you love what you do.
Show It
Gratitude never expressed, isn’t much gratitude at all. Take time to express gratitude. Don’t do it in some ham-handed or ticker-tape way. Just simply a simple thank you or recognition in the moment. Reward that of which you want more. Tips to show your gratitude:
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Soldiers of 3rd Platoon, 62nd Engineer Company, 4th Engineer Battalion pray before a mission. Photo and caption retrieved from Operation Shower of Appreciation.
Hand-Written Notes: It can be written on a post-it note, loose-leaf paper, or something more formal. In my last few jobs I have purchased personalized stationary specific to the position/organization. A short, hand-written notes that calls attention to a specific action of the other person and offers genuine thanks for it, can have a profound impact.
- Just [Say] It: It sounds simple, but for some reason we fail to say “thank you.” When your First Sergeant brings you an NCOER for review that he already edited, say thank you. After your driver and gunner have performed the weekly PMCS on your vehicle without you even knowing it, say thank you. When your Supply Sergeant and XO make sure the property is laid out to your ridiculous and exacting standards, say thank you. This litany can apply to any job or position…this might blow your mind, but yes, you can even thank a Private for just doing his/her job. I didn’t say give them an Army Commendation Medal for it, just say thank you.
- Awards and Recognition: For those times that someone exceeds expectations in demonstrating the values of your organization, reward it. Use whatever escalation of recognition that you or your organization has set, but use it often. Whether it is as simple as public recognition at a collective unit formation or more time-intensive like submitting a well-written award or giving a going away gift – reward excellence and commitment. And, in the process, make sure you use their actions as an example for the formation.
Live It
The Korean War Veterans Memorial at the Mall in Washington, D.C.
President John F. Kennedy said, “As we express our gratitude we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.” While saying it is better than not, let that be the impetus and reminder to live your gratitude. Living your gratitude is an extension or escalation of saying it. It is about having an “attitude of gratitude” in all that you do. Waking up thankful that you get the opportunity to serve, demonstrating that thankfulness in your attitude and mindfulness during the day, and ending each day with the thankfulness that you had it and reflection on how you can improve tomorrow.
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